This must be the first time in a long while (or just first time, period) that i'm blogging during class time. Not really missing much, since it's just computer design class. No, we don't design computers here. It's a class learning how to use a computer software, 'Pro Engineer 3.0', to design stuffs out. The lecturer is introducing one of the sweeping functions of the program, but i've already completed all the exercises through next week classes already. One of my classmate even said i don't have to come for a few lessons already.
Well, it's not that i'm 'professional' with the software or anything, it's just that i have already done this module before last semester, and the only reason why i'm repeating is because i did not submit any assignments. Not much anyway. Sometimes i do feel that i have an unfair advantage over the rest of the current class because of my past experience. I even felt bad when the lecturer gave me extra marks just for, ahh well, forget about it.
I'm still not very used to my 'new' class, though it's the third week of school already..
Thanks for your concern.. really really. It's not that i don't want to tell you, just that it's not the right time yet. Sorry if i seem unreasonable or anything.
Thanks for being there. Remember i'm here for you too.
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The Nut Within the Shell:
Fact #60:
Sigh.. since this is technically a new entry, so by default i have to add in this section. Ah well, let's be random with this, colours of my life.
I have a white NintendoDS Lite with a pink acrylic cover. I have a white Creative Zen StonePlus MP3 player with a pink silicon skin. The wax i'm currently using in pink in colour (as in the packaging).
When i drink GreenAppleGreen Tea, i use a purple straw. When i drink Milo Smoothie Kosong, i use a green straw.
My slippers are black with green prints.
Most of my shirts are black.
Only 2 of them are orange.
Which is surprising 'cause it's supposed to be my favourite colour and stuff. The only orangey stuffs i have are those 2 shirts.. and also when people MSNs me, and you know those little tabs on the bottom toolbar just flashes orange? Yeah..
And so, i find myself back at the point i try so hard to avoid. I told myself never to return again, but it still keeps happening. Over, and over, and over. And everytime it does, it just burns a bigger hole in my heart. I just don't know what to do anymore.. someone please tell me. Past experiences have taught me nothing but anguish and disappointment. I don't want to live through those again. It took me so long to get to where i am again, but now i find another trial looming before me. I am now at a path which splits left and right.
On the left, the road continues evenly without any obstruction. However, it might not lead me to where i want it to. It may eventually does so, but i do not know just how long it will continue before i finally get there.
Towards the right, i find a huge crater in the middle of the road, with no way of getting over.. .. ..except for a lone bridge spanning across the diameter of the hole. There is a sign manning the bridge which reads 'HOPE'.
If i picked left, it would mean me ignoring the signs, the experiences accumulated thus far and leaving everything else behind.
If i picked right, i would have to cross the bridge. If 'HOPE' is real, this path i'm taking would lead me out, to a destination i have been seeking since the start of my journey. But if 'HOPE' turns out to be false, the bridge would break, as they all had before, and i would fall down into the abyss of sorrows, where i have to begin my slow ascend all over again.
Once again, it has come to this.
I do not want to make the wrong choice...
..neither do i want to be alone.
-noosyrcdoogadeeni-
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Video selection of the week:
Thanks for sharing.. everyone else enjoy..
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The Nut within The Shell:
Fact #8:
Behind every smile, there is a teardrop.
Behind every laughter, there is something i cry about.
I can appear strong and be there for anyone, but sometimes, i need someone to lean on too..
"The happiest person you see in front of you, may just turn out to be the most saddest person in front of you"
I apologise for the major lack of updates from *refer to date of below post*. My modem sort of crashed (don't know how, don't ask me), so past few days had no wireless at home at all. Total deprivation if you asked me. I realised i cannot live on a laptop with no internet access. Over-reliance maybe, but's that's not a bad thing.. right?
Anyhows, now that i finally have access to the world wide web, i can finally take off somthing that has been on my chest for a long, long, long, HELL long time.
I HATE THE FREAKING SINGAPORE BUS SERVICE !!
Damn it sucks, seriously. I can wait for like god-knows-how-many minutes (psst.. try 25 to 45 mins), and the bus i want will NEVER arrive. Instead, the other bus services seems to come in the truckloads. It's stupendously frustrating can? Makes me want to just tear down the bus-stop. And the thing is when the bus i want finally comes, guess what? It's one of those 'OMG LOOK! ITS A NEWLY UPGRADED, SOUPED-UP HI-TECH BUS OF THE CENTURY! WOW! IT EVEN HAS INDIVIDUAL SEATS! HOW CONVENIENT!'. Convenient my PUII ! What the hell is wrong with you people? We don't need better seats, widescreen HD television or a takoyaki stand on the bus. JUST IMPROVE ON YOUR CURRENT BUS SCHEDULES! The bus arrival intervals that are posted at every bus-stop? PROPAGANDA THROUGH AND THROUGH! Please get it through your skulls that some people might have to take 2 buses to reach home, and if the buses fail to come at regular intervals, we might face the possibility of missing the last bus home. If it's stated that each bus interval is maximum 20 minutes, make sure that we don't wait for 45 MINUTES.
If you blue collared workers actually spent some time to find out what service the regular commuters REALLY expects from SBS, you might actually see a RISE in passengers numbers and GAIN in net profit.
Besides that, nothing more i want to rant about for this week. Maybe another post in future about the CCA Fiesta and the 3 day interviews.
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Video Selection of the Week:
Godzilla Banzai!!
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The Nut within The Shell 101:
Fact #82:
I had this weird growth in my right nipple once (sorry if you guys are disgusted, i'm just saying it as it is.. *shrugs*). It wasn't that big.. like the size of a 10c coin? Family thought it was some cancerous growth. Me? I thought i was developing a breast. And so, the doctor autopsy was that because those chicken handlers have been injecting alot of female harmones in the chickens to make them grow bigger breasts and thighs, and i have been eating alot of chicken lately (chicken rice, guilty as charged), this the abnormal spurt of female harmones caused that growth in my right nipple. Solution? Stop eating chickens. For that period of time anyway.
So guys, word of advice. Too many chickens is bad for you chest. (= For girls who feels unsettled about their physical selfs, eat more chicken! (x
Just a short post right here, though i not sure what i want to blog about. I guess i just want to post for the sake of posting. Ah well, went for buffet dinner with family at Traders Hotel. Good food, though not much variety. I must have eaten like, 4 whole crayfish?
Haha..and for dessert, double scoops of vanilla with double scoops of chocolate with chocolate rice and hazelnut sprinkles on top. I also custom added atapchi and longans into the mix. Oh oh! And two marshmallows dipped in chocolate fondue. Yummy goodness all in one bowl. I probably would have taken a picture of it, but my sony ericsson went dead in the morning, so i just left it at home.
Going to clubhouse later to practise 'Have You Ever' with Ben and Greg for ME orientation program. Supposed to be 2 p.m., but the in-charge of the event changed the date of hearing to Monday afternoon from Tuesday. Since we haven't actually had a chance to go through yet, no choice we have to meet earlier to settle the song.
And so, it's now 6 a.m. in the morning. Didn't go to sleep again as usual. Was watching cable till about 2 in the morning, and i figured that i probably couldn't wake given the amount of hours i was left to sleep with. So didn't bother with sleeping at all.
Video selection of the week (okay, so it's like monday already. So what? I only missed it by 6 hours..) :
Fly Away Lenny Kravitz
Totally dig this song, has a funky groove going on. I'm learning the slap'n and the pop'n of the bass. If you don't know what's that, just listen to the bass during the song's verse. And check it out! The drummer's a SHE! ha..
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The Nut within the Shell 101:
Fact #92:
Okay.. what now. Seriously have no idea right now. I'm typing this as i go along. Ah well, let's talk about my pets.
I have a jack russell dog named 'Rover'. He's found in the front porch of my house. I also have a cat of unknown breed named 'Rabbit(don't ask)'. She's found in the backyard(kind of..) of my house. We have like, a dog guarding the north end and a cat guarding the south end of my house. Ahaas..
History of pets includes (in the order i can remember):
- Fighting Fish (Prolonged exposure to solar energy; Sunburnt) - Arrowana [金龙鱼] (Death by electrocution via florescent lamp attached to tank) - Chick (Not as in 'girl' chick. It's 'young chicken' chick) - Kittens (Mysteriously disappeared after return from overseas trip) - Another dog (It got hit by a truck) - Dwarf Hamsters (Cannibalism)
And so i spruced up my blog a little to fine tune the overall appearance. 'Zhng' my blog, so to speak. Removed the 'Funeral Marching' midi 'cos it always goes spastic at the beginning. Drives me crazy. I guess i can be inclined as a perfectionist at times. Actually, i can see myself changing to another blogskin. Although i like the theme of this skin, it doesn't fully appeals to me. I definitely don't see myself using this skin long-term wise.
Oh yes, this is going to be hell-of-a long post, so please only read when you're tremendously bored, like when you're having attachment, this is the last blog on your list to visit, the television has got absolutely nothing of interest on, etc etc..
Otherwise, please bear with me. ありがと ございますた.
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I would like to begin with this thought in mind:
When you observe the actions of those around you closely, you will know how much a friend they see you as. Think of it as, how they would rate you from 0 to 10, with 10 being the best anyone can get, and 0 being stay away from me. Simple details which might appear minute to some, i actually do process the information. Even though i may be wrong, but i'm going to say this anyway.
To be totally honest, i feel that i don't have a firm place in anybody at all. I mean, besides hh and huijia. I've always thought i've had more friends, and i'm sure even they themselves think they are a friend of mine. But the truth of the matter is, from where i see it, we are nothing but mere acquaintances. I feel i've always taken the 1st step to make fast friends. Then i realise, that's all the friends i am going to have, nothing beyond the facial stage.
You may know what i do. You may know what i study.
You may know my name.
But that's all there is, ain't it?
I mean, who out there can really step up to the plate and announce that he or she really knows me?
I've been told that i have to reach out to make friends beyond the present stage.
But hey, i don't feel needy. I don't need people at my beck and call whenever i'm having depression periods. It just sad to see how many people actually take the initiative. I don't even need one whole hand to count.
Of course, i may seem quite hypocritical about this too. On one hand, i always keep everything to myself, hardly ever do i share my inner thoughts with anyone. On the other, i'm lamenting and complaining that people don't take the 1st step towards me. I know, i get it. Something's always wrong with me anyway.
I do question myself too. Like, why, out of 390 contacts in my messenger, only a fraction still double clicks on me, albeit not frequently. Why bother with updating of ringtones and message alerts when nobody bothers to look for you anyway.
If i remove the drum lessons i'm giving. If i remove the performances i'm told to perform. What reason will anyone have to contact me? What for will people continue to have a social link with me?
And so i shall foresee. Friends i have now will forever be limited to acquaintances. Your so-called 'Hi-bye' friends, in lament terms. Condemned to a life of wondering around shopping malls, watching movies and eventually dying.. alone.
P.S. Please don't spend extra effort to talk to me, or invite me out after reading this. i would take it that you're pitying me. Also, it just won't be natural. If i can't have REAL friends, i rather have none at all.
***
Now that that's done, on with the blogging.
SCC Chalet III was okay, but new experience though. We had barbecue for both nights. That was interesting, 'cos the norm thing to happen for a chalet was to have one barbecue night only. There was also a wireless service provided by downtowneast, but the signal was from the lobby. So, being like almost the other end of the chalet, the signal strength was, needless to say, pathetic. Our chalet itself turned out to be a room-version. Picture any normal hotel room you've seen in you're life. That was it. That was our chalet. A toilet on the left of the door, a fridge slightly ahead, and at the end of the short corridor (i wouldn't even call it a corridor..), the area opened up to a television on a shelf and a queen size bed with two single mattresses at the bottom. Oh, and a sliding door at the end for the small balcony.
Lots of snaps taken for the 3 days. Almost 300 shots. The most out of any collection thus far. Evon was getting the photos from me when she inquired about the previous two chalet pictures. I was like, oh yeah, what happened to them? After awhile, i deduced that I had no access to the camera back at SCC Chalet I, and i had clean forgotten about bringing the camera to SCC Chalet II.
I didn't drink much during this chalet. What a letdown. I was hoping i could get wasted again. Another time perhaps..
Oh, and for the record, this is to zhiwei, evon and qiuyun:
I DIDN'T 'EMO' THIS TIME FOR THE DURATION OF THE CHALET !! Wuahahahahaaa ~
Came home on Sunday afternoon, around twelve-ish. Needless to say, i thumped on my bed and snoozed for the rest of the day, only waking up to have dinner(Salted fish fried rice, end up whole packet like half a salted fish also don't have) before continuing my siesta.
Monday, another one of those 'orh, okay whatever.' days. Basically, wake, sleep, wake, game, eat, web, eat, sleep.
Can't get any more simpler then that.
Oh yea, one of the website i randomly came across was the STOMP forums. I only went through the 'I Confess' section. Really cracked me up. There was this topic that went something like," What are the things people say to you that makes you angry"-or-something-like-that.
One of the poster went:
" personally, one of the hugest turn offs for me are those who mangle the English language till it's incoherent. short forms and acronyms are fine. not when they're written like this:
t0dAy HoR, mYy tHe lIfE iShhhH bErRi dE SiaNZzz l0rrRrrxxxXx. miIiE luuUUrRRbbEs MieeE'S De LaaOoo GoNg!! *huuuUGs* I RoOXxX wOrzz
ARGH! worse still if they talk like that. I can just strangle people who talk/write like that. oh oh oh.. and those who act cute too! give me a break, either you have the looks or you don't. those little annoying actions won't make you look more kaAwaAiIii; in fact, you look more retarded (if that's possible) doing them.
For those of you who is encountering this type of written pattern for the first time, it's called 'twit'. It's when you.. well.. the guy above already described it pretty much. I myself have seen girls typing like this, though thankfully, not all of them are as extreme as the poster above. There is only a certain level of 'twit' i can 'tahan' before going bonkers. But don't worry 'twiters' out there, it's relatively high. I'm a pretty tolerable guy.
But i have to ask this question. What for 'twit' your text? It might seem cute at first, sure, but don't you find it a hassle to type extra letters, and also remembering to capitalise some of them at random intervals?
I mean, even if comparing with Singlish
1) Hi, how is you? You got the thing for me or not? hahas..
2) hiEe, hOw ishH eUu?? Euu gOrt tHe thINg fOrr miEE oRR noRt? heExHeeX..(omg, i can't believe i actually typed that out..)
Which one would be less time comsuming to type out? Not to mention easier to comprehend. I can assure you, the 1st line will produce lesser head scratches, even though it's in Singlish.
If you want a good laugh, visit the STOMP forum. I'm too lazy to type out the link. So yeah, too bad.
Today was another one of my lonesome boring outdoors. You probably won't be interested about me going out alone anyway, so i'll bar the details.
- Went Plaza Singapura - Nua-ed in arcade for like 2-3 hours - Saw 七仔 everywhere - Bumped into secondary school juniors
Oh, this you have to hear. There was three girls, two i knew and the third one i've seen before back in secondary school. Anyway, one of the girl's name was Candy Chua Xin Tian (literally, heart sweet). Her folks sure spent no expense at such a nice name for her.
That was about it i guess. Left the place somewhere after 6 p.m.. After reaching home for awhile, jia told me to go buy dinner with her. So i "Orhh-ed" and went along. Usual randomness along the way.
And now, here we are. Now, that wasn't so bad was it? Yeah, sure it was a long entry, but you've had nice music accompanying you along the way, courtesy or me.
Have a nice morning/day/afternoon/evening/night*!
* Circle one
Happy April's Fool mina-san.
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The Nut within the Shell 101:
Fact #32:
I've never had a real first kiss before. Yeah, i know it's kind of random and 'off', but there's nothing else i can think of. I want to sleep already.
